WordPress gurus, I want your help!:

Splitting just one "paragraph" into two naturally even posts in PHP is comparatively easy, but I have to learn how to split WordPress specific content into two naturally even posts by having an image on the top as with the look below...

Layout

Here's the problem: The written text observed in the screenshot above is one paragraph having a single image spanning the whole two column width. Also, the only paragraph must be split in the centre by word (not character) and permit even height between your two posts. I haven't yet found any good examples of methods to get this done with WordPress syntax.

According to my understanding, you're looking to split <p> tag of html as proven in fig. above.

Quite impossible !

This is because, <p> tag is block element, automatically. And also to render layout as proven in above fig., you need to write HTML markup with CSS as below :

<div>
 <img src="ur-img.jpg" />

 <div class="col-2">
  <p class="alignleft"> Text for first column </p>
  <p class="alignright"> Text for second column </p>
  <p class="clear"></p>
 <div>

<div>

And CSS might be like:

.col-2 p {
    width: 45%
}

.alignright {
    float:right;
}

.alignleft {
    float:left;
}
.clear{
   clear:both;

Wordpress default theme develop couple of css classes - chk http://codex.wordpress.org/CSS

For automatic posts, use jQuery, i.e. this wordpress plugin http://plugins.jquery.com/plugin-tags/auto-column varieties.

There is no built-in functionality in Wordpress with this, and it must be done in the DOM level, not the page template or PHP level.